Happy Birthday

Before I get into "it", let me say this.
Happy Birthday Fritz.
Happy Birthday CD.

Two people I know celebrate their birthday today.
One is family another is a friend.
It's very weird but they are the two people I see quite a bit, inhabiting part of my world and born on the same day. May be you are both guardian angels.
:)

I love birthdays. Did I ever tell you that?
I love that people come together to celebrate you.
Your life. That you exist.
I find it very uplifting. Very powerful.
It's not so much the age. It's more of the life you have lived.

I had a discussion once with CD about birthdays.
Is it just a milestone? Is it just a chance to show off?
Why make all this people come and say nice things about you?
Buy you presents? What does it matter?

We didn't come to a conclusion (that is the lovely thing about discussions)
But I kinda established what I think about birthdays through that discussion
(apart that I love them so much).

I have decided that birthdays are a focus point.
The point where everyone you know and love (as well as them pesky colleagues) focus their energies on you. Just by wishing you happy birthday they send you tremendous vibes and blessings. By spending time with you, by deciding on a present, having a meal together etc. Of course you will argue you can do that everyday. True true but it's the one day when everybodies energy is focussed on you. Even if it's just for a brief moment.
I think it is tremendously and fantastically powerful.

So that's my recent thought on birthdays.

If I had to choose a day,
When the mysteries of the universe were to be revealed,
If I had to choose a day,
When God would answer my questions,
And smile fervently at me,
I'd choose my birthday.

If I had to make a whole tray of chocolate chip cookies,
And roast a chicken, a pheasant and a leg of lamb,
And whisk the eggs whites till they were stiff in the bowl,
I'd choose my birthday.

If I had to choose a day to smile on sun and say I'm happy,
To wake up in the morning with a spring in my step,
To have to wash my hair and blow it dry
And all the while think how happy and lucky I am,
I'd choose my birthday.

If I could choose the day I'd die,
I'd choose my birhtday.

Why? Then the circle would be complete.
:)

Me. where. here. there. everywhere.

At work: My desk has moved two floors down to a newly renovated area. It's quite classy. Finally looks like a proper news floor. We have glass conference rooms - so you can watch the bosses turn red with rage from the comforts of your desk. We have individual tables now in a proper semi-square. We used to have long desks before with terminals one after the other. We used to complain of being in each others noses. Now the feeling is isolation. Ha ha.

It's a lovely place really - all the different desks are now together. But i think everyone is a bit weary of the other desks - no one is shouting for things to be done. Though the consensus is that there will be plenty of hollering once the bosses are used to all the space. I must show you all some pictures soon.

We have two little pantrys and have been adviced to eat there, but the thing has been empty thus far...i think nobody here knows what to do in a pantry. but us jounalists can get very very creative ;) The smoking room though is a big hit! no suprises there - jounalists and smoking are supposedly synonmous.

and the next stage for my desk is the decorating part. where you get silly little things to put around. talking points. like a figurine bending over with his hand outstretched in front where you stick your pen in and put little note paper in his butt - his butt crack holds the paper together! (hey don't scream at me my FRIEND nearly bought that!)

at home: most of my time at the apartment is spent sleeping. or reading. sometimes cooking even. i made some chicken curry and bayam last week. was craving that combination for some reason. the long hours asleep is not just cause i am tired. but i think it has to do with the room being dark even in the day time that the melatonin just keeps producing and i just feel continuously sleepy. at least that's my theory. my apartment mate is a great. very kind and very generous. bit of a liverpool fanatic, but that's nice.

in the car: am still driving dad's car. its a bit tough keeping it shiny all the time. but its a great convinience and am very greatful to have full reign over it. though i think the time is coming soon when i will have to hand it back. not to mention the atrocious price of petrol that this petrol producing country is making us pay. so i have to start practising with taxis very very soon.

inmyhometown: going back now roughly once a month. mum and dad do come down to kl for something or the other so we do meet. guess all this is part of the separation thingy parents and children are supposed to do. though i think it was meant to have started when the child is 18! but hey i feel 18!hah! the dogs are a riot. mummy has two fella - males - my office mates love stories about them. the last trip home i took pics with my new phone (which was a gift from someone very very sweet), and the desk was oohing and aahing over them. they don't know it, but they are celebrities here. What did they do today they ask? (More like what did they destroy today?)

in ol' skool: ol' skool is this pub in pj. its an old fashion place. they have live bands and they play really really old music. and its a place i am really beginning to like. its the kind of pub where everybody knows your name you know... ha ha ... i'll take you there if you like. its unpretensious, its unassuming. and best of all nobody tries to pick u up nor do they bring you down with smugness. bangsar is becoming like that a bit - so full of themselves its sickening. so ol' skool's where i go (with a couple of colleagues) to chill.

in sfx: sfx is the church i go to on sundays (sometimes saturday evenings if i can get the day off). i go alone. again its a place where i can be just me. the priests are often times funny and insightful. the music is ok on sundays and great on saturday evening. we have sb officers and students doing religious studies observing us. sometimes i am afraid. sometimes when we discuss freedom of religion in this country i wonder how much of anything is actually worth it in the end. maybe lennon was right. then we sing i surrender all and i know that, that is right... for me. that i have a choice. choices are so life affirming.

in the cinema: watched so many movies the last two weeks - the breakup, lakehouse, mistress of spices, avellaneda's moon, lady in the water etc. i love the cinema. so so much. i just like the idea of just sitting there and staring and have all this madeness and ideas and beliefs and experiences just thrown at me. i like that people are expressing themselves and i don't have to (at least not until i come out of the cinema). I like cheezels in the cinema. i like the ads. i like the curtain moving. i like the trailers. i like i like i like.

in me: in me is a very special place. a place that at times is barren but most times so overflowing that everyone around gets drenched. in 'o' magazine, i read the other day that some people are sponges. they absorb everything around them. i tot that was just how things were. how do you interact and not absorb? so that is what i have been thinking about lately. the topic of the week in my head. another thing that has come out from inside me is this - that i am a product of two worlds. have you ever thought that? its like living two different lives. fodder for thought i say!

in me is also so much love and at times that hurts. because love can cloud over so many things. love can be so forgiving. can't be sure that's good. sometimes forgiving can be bad - it opens you up for more hurt. that's what i am in the process of thinking about. no conclusions as yet.

i like that too. no conclusions. it holds so much promise when there is no end. well not always. no closure can be life stopping. it can be draining. so i guess conclusions are good. as long as they are timely. and the time for conclusion in this piece of writing - is now.

this is all the places "me" resides. shared.